At Work: Communications (9) (工作)
first published on rolia.net, 2010-12-13
Good conversation is like a good song: elegant and touching.
I once listened in on my wife's phone interviews. Her English is good and so are her technicals. However, in my opinion, she didn't do well in these interviews. Why? Because she talked too fast and her voice was too loud, often high-pitched.
Many of us have the same problem. We talk fast to show we're good with English or good with the subject. We talk loud to "emphasize" our points. Unfortunately, neither is good.
Talking too fast or too loud could easily leave the impression that we're not confident or we're nervous. This weakens our effectiveness as a communicator.
The best way to emphasize our points, ironically, is to lower our voice. In the classic movie "The Godfather", the big mob boss always talked in a low voice, sometimes even hard to hear. Yet he never failed to intimidate his opponents.
It's the same with his son Michael, the heir designate. The scene where Michael argued with his older brother Fredo is a great example that power doesn't need shouting: Fredo talked the most, yelling and screaming, while Michael only said a few words, almost like whispering.
In communications, our power comes from the strength of our arguments or the strength of our position, not from the strength of our voice.
Good communicators emphasize rhythm. Like a good song: sometimes slow, sometimes fast, sometimes in between. They go slow with complicated logic. They go fast to dramatize a point. They pause to give their audience time to chew. They deliver the conclusion one word at a time, leaving no room for misunderstanding.
We should also let other people have rhythm. Many of us habitually interrupt people. I do this even now, after years of telling myself not to. Lately, in the middle of writing this article, I paid closer attention to the issue. I made an effort to let other person finish. Not only that, I pause after he finishes. I smile and I nod, but I say nothing. The result? More relaxed atmosphere, better understanding, less friction, less arguments.
I'd like to conclude this post, and this series on communications, with the song << 风生水起>>. It's a song from the latest "Super Boys" competition in China. I like it a lot. It's a good example that power comes from words, not from how they're spoken. "金戈铁马，弹指一挥，黄昏白首孤烟炊". How vivid. How poignant. It's also a good example that being cool, paced and reserved, touches people more than being hot, rushed and exaggerated.
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- At Work: Communications (9) - super(学霸), 2014-10-07 23:28 (#32) (工作)
- DELAY - 天涯 (2010快乐男声) - 挺好听的歌，他们俩很早就被淘汰了，后来就杳无音信，可见有水平的人也不一定能成功。 - super(学霸), 2015-03-13 20:37 (#21014)
- 好听！ - mid-night(羊), 2015-11-18 16:26 (#33354)
- angel(angel), 2015-11-17 20:57 (#33312)
- 又好好看了一遍，受益匪浅。 - 枫叶_66(枫叶), 2015-11-17 23:13 (#33324)
- 从小红深爱的那些歌曲看，他是个内心非常缠绵细腻又多愁善感的人，是不是？ - goodmountaingoodwater(68), 2015-11-18 20:24 (#33371)
- 第一次听说，真心不错。不过组合在比赛中往往走不了多远，过不了观众投票这关，因为脑残粉都爱颜值高的。 - bigjoe(拈花一笑), 2015-11-18 21:12 (#33381)
- 真心不错。。。 - int_arts(int_arts), 2015-11-19 01:38 (#33421)
- 拜读小红个人专辑里的每一篇文章，篇篇闪耀着卓越的才华智慧，处处都是诚恳真切的帮助，真的感谢小红的无私奉献 - goodmountaingoodwater(68), 2015-11-18 20:05 (#33363)